July 24, 2013


Remember this?
Oh, but she's so FULL of attitude; casting her spells and causing me deep consternation. She should be ashamed but, of course, she's not. And as a WOMAN, that's her prerogative!
I sat down to finish her a few days ago.
I layered her clothing with my own design. You can't see it in this picture but I cut her sleeves wider at the end and on a diagonal.She has a pair of pantaloons, then a skirt, then the dress part that I'd sewn the apron to. I didn't think out the process throroughly and had put her head onto her body before I'd slipped on her dress...SO....I had to slit the front and back to get it on. I stitched and glued a piece of fabric down her front so I could hide the slit.
Her collar is Tulle and she has a Black/White polka dot tie at her chin. I also tied a strip on her hat and then glued the wooden black bat above it that I'd painted, previously.
Her boots have been grubbied up with some cinnamon and 2 rusted safety pins attached for her 'buckles'.
I painted on her lashes, her mole, and those wide lips that she casts her nasty spells from.
Her hair is gray sheep's roving and her hat is made from black felt. She's 32" tall and a good 'handfull'!
I've named her Sassafrass. She's sitting on her bench in front of my China cabinet and thus far, hasn't given me any trouble.
 I've got her listed in my Etsy if you want to stop by and FAVORITE her.
She took some time to make but I REALLY enjoyed putting her fabrics together.
I've listed most of my inventory again in my shop. Slowly getting back to the 'here and now'. It's been nice having some down time.
We're getting lots of rain here and I've not been able to break out the 'tools' between the heat and the wet stuff. I did manage to get these painted up.

I'll have another Giveaway soon so make sure you 'STAY TUNED'!

July 17, 2013

....And That's How the Fight Started!!

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.


July 9, 2013

My STAY-cation!

Good morning [[[[YAWN]]]] Blogging Friends!I can't seem to wake up this a.m.!
So much going on around here and I'm exhausted from what is supposed to be my Stay-cation!
Looks like my 'Peace and Quiet' is going to be elusive this summer.
Anna Belle had a mishap with Superman, aka her twin brother, Tate.
They were jumping on the furniture after being told numerous times to 'cut it out'. I've been teaching them about 'choices and consequences'. My kids are VERY stubborn and sometimes it takes a literal example to teach them. This was one of those examples, I guess. He jumped on her and she flung her arm out and caught the back of the loveseat at the corner where the wood joins together. She broke both her Ulna and Radius at the wrist. they were clean breaks and didn't have to be set, for which we are all so THANKFUL for. She was cast on Friday (5th). Our summer beach plans are on hold.
I've bought a few more patterns. This one I couldn't resist from Kim @ ORP.
 These are from Chestnut Junction and I can't WAIT to make them!
My sewing machine has been put away for a bit. I'm going into town this morning to pick up a new sander so I can cut out some Halloween items. I've actually listed my Halloween inventory in my Etsy shop. You can see my Etsy Mini on my right side bar.
I've got to take my little girl to the Heart doctor tomorrow along with her broken wrist. When she was born, they thought she might have Mitral Valve Prolapse (a floppy valve). It runs in my family on my mother's side and I have 2 kids with it already so I'm sure she does, too. If it isn't "one thing, it's another" right?!
Hope your summer Vacations and Stay-cations are proving to be a bit more positive than mine. At least it's beautiful here and we're getting some much needed rain. Looks like there is some kind of Tropical system out in the Carribean that we'll have to watch for. Sure wouldn't mind the rain it can bring.
I've got something FUN up my sleeve so.....
Stay tuned!

July 2, 2013

My Swap Package!

 Amy over at BUMBLEBEE LANE had her Summer Swap and I participated it in it! What WONDERFUL gifts I received! Linda @ COUNTRY PICKINS has such a generous heart. I was completely overwhelmed!
Take a look!
 Someone was showing his excitement!

 Smells so good!
 Lovely dish towels!
 Just perfect!
 Sweet Pea lives up to her name!
 Patriotic hot pads!
 Wonderful soaps and a Patriotic ornie!
A Tea Towel, note pad, the BEST smelling candle, an ornie pattern.....
Good HEAVENS but I've been SPOILED to the point of ROTTEN!
THANK YOU, sweet Linda and Amy for a wonderful Swap. Linda was the first person I ever swapped with and I continue to learn from her!
In other news, someone is getting new clothes....
I've also decided to give her a 'facelift' as I can't seem to get her to smile. I'll show you soon!

These precious dollies are from Susan at THREADBARE PRIMITIVES! They will be part of my Halloween. They just make me laugh!
My family is coming in for the 4th so I'm cleaning and preparing my menu. Looking forward to having my 'nest' full with my chicks! It's been a while since they were all here!
Wishing you a wonderful and safe 4th!